The day Sukhumvit almost sunk

Reading about the extensive flooding in the North and Northeast got me thinking about the worst inundations experienced in Bangkok. It was probably back in 1983 when much of the city was underwater for several weeks. However one that really affected me was a few years later in 1986 after a huge storm had left the eastern part of Bangkok awash.
I remember that day well simply because I ended up wading from my home deep down Sukhumvit 49 to the Bangkok Post office at Saladaeng. It took a very soggy two and a half hours.
Sukhumvit Road was more than knee-deep in water and there were scenes of indescribable chaos with abandoned cars, vans and submerged tuk-tuks. It was far too deep for cars to negotiate and the only transport was the occasional bus which chugged its way through the waters with desperate commuters hanging off the sides. It wasn’t much fun wading either as it was extremely treacherous underfoot with holes and open drains lying in wait to suck you up.
I eventually reached the office exhausted and a squelching mess after plunging into the murky waters several times. However, there was actually a small sense of achievement at having made it to work. It didn’t quite match the conquest of Everest but at least it was mission accomplished.
This sense of fulfilment quickly dissipated when a colleague noticed my bedraggled state and asked quite innocently “has it been raining?” It turned out he lived in the dry part of town in the Sathon area and was blissfully unaware of all the watery mayhem going on in the other half of the city.
On another occasion it was late at night and I was aboard a tuk-tuk trying to get home during a major thunderstorm. Seeing the rising floodwaters on Sukhumvit 49 the tuk-tuk driver wisely refused to go any further and I had to wade the rest of the way home in pitch darkness. It was still tipping down and I was concerned about our household’s pet rabbit which was in danger of becoming a drowned rabbit.
While wading down a back soi I was passed by a car which a few moments later gurgled to a halt in deep water. I knocked on the window to indicate I would give them a push. But judging from the terrified reaction from the couple in the car they thought I was either a mugger, lunatic or ghost. So I left them to it and was relieved to make it home just in time to rescue the rabbit.
There was a report this week concerning a woman who was bitten by a snake while watching a movie in a Bangkok cinema. She had apparently taken off her shoes to relax when she felt something crawling around her feet and tried to shake it off. It turned out to be a snake which bit her left foot and she had to be taken to hospital.
It took me back to the days in the mid-1970s when I was a film reviewer for the Post. Thankfully I escaped any snake bites but did experience close encounters with the rodent community and cockroaches in the more dilapidated cinemas. At least the rodents would wait until the film got underway before they made their presence felt. On some occasions a trip to the cinema restroom made me appreciate how the Pied Piper must have felt.
With all the attention given to the baby hippo at Khaow Kheow it is hardly surprising that other Thai zoos are coming up with their own versions of Moo Deng. Pygmy hippos are sprouting up in zoos across the nation and Thailand could well soon become a “Hippo Hub”.
As is Thai tradition the animals have all been given nicknames mostly with culinary associations. For a start Moo Deng has two siblings Moo Toon (pork stew) and Moo Waan (sweet pork). Ubon Ratchathani Zoo’s star resident is Moo Khaki (pork knuckle) while in Nakhon Ratchasima we have Moo Manao (spicy garlic lime sauce). Khon Kaen’s resident hippo is known as Duang Maphrao (Coconut Beetle) acquiring its nickname because its movements apparently bear a resemblance to that of a beetle.
One wonders what the hippos make of all this fuss. It would be useful if there was a Dr Dolittle character who in the 1967 film with Rex Harrison in the title role contemplated what it would be like to converse with animals.
In the song Talk to the Animals Dolittle ponders “just imagine chatting to a chimp in chimpanzee… what an achievement that would be”. He even got around to “If I were to sing in Hippopotamus I would say why-not-amus”.
Perhaps it’s just as well animals can’t talk to us. The little Khao Kheow hippo would probably be saying “why are all those people staring at us Mum?”
The best communicators with animals should be veterinarians and no doubt Dr Barker is on excellent speaking terms with his furry clientele. There used to be an animal behaviourist in the US with the magnificent name Dr Grunt. Other vets with most appropriate names are the delightful Dr Woof and Dr Wagy who must surely have a few tales to tell.
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